The Bro Bracket, American League

Who is the biggest bro in the MLB, who is the Broseidon of the MLB? We decided that making a 68 man (bro) bracket of MLB players was the best way to answer this question. No one has seemed to take on the task of naming the biggest bro of baseball and we have decided to put that among ourselves. So over the next few weeks we will find out who has enough brotein to be named the most bro of the MLB. We made the bracket have automatic qualifiers, 30 a representative from each team, and then 38 at large bids. Then, we made a bracket out of all of the players with an American League side and a National League side. The Winner of each league will play each other in the final for an ultimate bro-off. In the end we will crown the bro of all bros by looking at what just makes them a bro, along with some pretty funny pictures of them. We have made the bracket now so you can take a look along with an explanation for each player of why they are a bro. Here are the representatives from the American League

* Note : These players were chosen based on their opening day roster. The first player listed is the team’s automatic bid, while the following name(s) are the at-large bid(s).


14 seed: J.J Hardy : He’s got the nickname, he’s a shortstop that hits for power and not to mention he’s a good looking dude. He definitely slays woman no problem anywhere he goes and rocks the Ed hardy t-shirt from time to time (even though I hate those tool shirts). Also has a celebrity look alike in the guy from Always Sunny. [J.D.]
12 Seed: Matt Weiters : He is one of the most underrated bros, loved in Baltimore. Last name is Wieters and is a member of the Golden Boys. [PF]

6 seed:David Ortiz
: Big Papi… Has funny commercials (especially the one where he wears the Yankee hat), slugs the ball and also had the best speech of the year so far when he told Boston, “This is our fucking city”. Just seems like a cool guy you could sit down, drink beer and watch a game with. Not to mention if you get into a fight no one is messing with Big Papi. [J.D.]
18 seed: Clay Buchholz : This guy was destined to be a bro. He was born in Texas and went to Louisiana for college, but was kicked off the baseball team for stealing laptops from a middle school and then selling them. In just his second major league start, he pitched a no hitter. That same season, his rookie season, he won the World Series with the Boston Red Sox. He is involved in charitable work and even has his own label of wine. Last but not least, his wife is banging. [LS]

New York
1 seed:Derek Jeter : Was this ever in doubt? For a second just forget the whole Captain of the most historic team in baseball, the fact he’s a good looking guy, forget the nickname captain clutch, forget he plays shortstop and forget he’s a 13 time all star. Just picture him as an average baseball player in the MLB that gives one night stands a present as the leave his house and one of the items is a signed baseball. What a boss. [J.D.]
31 seed:Curtis Granderson : For some reason Granderson is someone that you wouldn’t automatically think bro when you heard his name, but he makes our list for a number of reasons. He grew up just south of Chicago and decided not to root for the hometown Cubs because he would rather have watched Saved by the Bell over Cubs games. He has an active hand in helping out in his community, something that isn’t listed on his stats sheet, which is also very impressive. Don’t let his nice guy exterior fool you, he’s undoubtedly a bro. [LS]

Tampa Bay
21 seed: Kyle Farnsworth : A Brawler. He’s the Rick Vaughn of the MLB. Even has the specs to prove it. Throws (Threw) major heat back in the day clocking in around 100 miles an hour and is not afraid of throwing at the batter. He’s a family man now which always affects the bro-ness of a person but had to take him do to his bad ass ways in the past. [J.D.]
11 seed: Evan Longoria : One of the biggest snubs in the bracket in my mind. The guy is just an awesome personally. Was on the cover of MLB 2k10. His wife is a former playmate and maxim model. [PF]
30 seed:Yunel Escobar : Got that Rico Suave look to him and how can you forget his claim to fame; wearing the eyeblack “tu eres maricon” or in English “You’re a fag.” [PF]

13 seed: Brett Lawrie 
: A Canadian bro? Yea we have a couple of them but the pictures speak more from him. Dude has a short temper and always is arguing something and may come off as a prick. That being said he’s a tatted up baseball player who is just living the dream right now.  Just take a look. Google him, yea that’s him with that smoke show and yea that’s him doing Edward 40 hands. [J.D.]
20 seed: Colby Rasmus : Here is an underrated bro in my opinion. A quick Google images search will give you some insight to Rasmus’ extensive resume. His father is hilarious, and is obviously a bro himself, so it runs in the family. All in all he’s a young guy from Georgia with some personality, plus his wife is pretty hot too. [LS]
23 seed:Jose Reyes : Though he’s been moving around the league lately, Reyes makes it rain wherever he goes. A lot of people hate him despite he’s still relatively young, but quite frankly he doesn’t care what other people think. He has a ton of accomplishments under his belt but he’s only made it to the postseason once in his career. In the mean time, Brose has a few reggaeton songs and even his own record label. [LS]


25 seed: Adam Dunn : The Big Donkey. Home runs, Home Runs, Home runs. He does not care about any other Stat in baseball (other than maybe strikeouts). I really wonder sometimes what the difference between him and Wily Mo Pena is and have a hard time separating the two. Why did the Big Donkey make it and not Wily Mo but anyway I’ll stop. He is 6’6” and close to 300 pounds and gets away for around 10 years now as solely a DH. The word defense doesn’t exist in his vocabulary as he just ists in the dugout as his team plays defense. [J.D]
17 seed:Chris Sale : Went to Florida Gulf Coast aka Dunk City. The guy has lights out stuff with a “funky” side arm delivery. Was only 23 went he made an all-star appearance. Has been seen with Snoop. [PF]

7 seed:Jason Giambi : I know this is a shocker, ladies and gentleman he is still in the MLB. He is doing awful but he has managed to make another team’s roster. He took steroids, just raked home runs for a few years, got a couple tats, got caught with the steroids, and 10 years later still playing baseball. Went to Long Beach State (total bro college) and only played in the minors for 2 years (thank you steroids). He has won an MVP award and also was on the cover of multiple video games. May not be one when you think of the MLB today right away but is a legend in the Bro history of baseball. [J.D]

9 seed:Nick Swisher– Yankee fans probably hate this pick. He’s to fault for Jeter breaking his ankle, making Jeter have a setback in rehab and also it’s his fault for Jeter getting fat. Get over yourselves Yankee fans everyone makes bad plays in their life and this one wasn’t even that bad. But whatever team he goes to the fans love him because he plays the game with a smile on his face. He also packs major bombs in his mouth and hits a good amount of homers. It also helps when he’s a guy that other teams hate because he is so loyal to the team he plays for (which is weird because he’s been to a bunch of different ones), just an ultimate team player. May come off as a douche but total bro. He even has been in a couple TV shows.

19 seed: Mark Reynolds : Went to a bro college, University of Virginia. The guy only does two things well, strikeout or hit bombs. Great hair. [PF]
32 Seed:Trevor Bauer : This kid made his MLB debut last year but is already a solid at large bid on our bro bracket. This bro is from Los Angeles and went to UCLA for college. He messed around and made the NCAA his bitch, earning him the third overall pick in the 2011 draft by the Arizona Diamondbacks. He modeled his pitching style after fellow bro, automatic qualifier Tim Lincecum, whom he looks up to. Bauer likes to warm up for a game in the most bro way possible by throwing bombs across the baseball diamond, like 400 foot distances. [LS]

2 seed: Justin Verlander : Anyone that can throw 100 miles an hour of pure gas, chooses not and still dominates pitching in the MLB is a total Bro. Add on to that the fact he has been in a video game, strikes out 13 batter a game and won MVP as a PITCHER and you have a guy that can go very far in this bracket. He can toss a no hitter at any time and has no signs of slowing down. Oh right and he has been linked to a two time cover of the S.I. swimsuit edition Kate Upton. Just Google Verlander and tiger cub, fearless dude, look at that baby tiger. [J.D]
26 seed: Prince Fielder : This guy is a huge deal in Detroit. There was an urban legend about Fielder as a 12 year old kid blasting a home run into the upper deck of Tiger Stadium. Another rumor about Fielder was that we was a vegetarian, but he’s such a big guy that it was hard to believe. He does, though, have a tattoo on his neck that says his first name in Korean. [LS]

Kansas City
29 seed:Billy Butler : I have a thing for DH’s when it comes to bros. How can one not be when all they are asked to do is hit the ball as far as they can most of the time? They don’t play defense, they usually either pack major dappers or just have the biggest beer bellies in the business. Billy Butler is the beer guy. I’m convinced this guy is the real life landfill from Beerfest that just slugs beers as soon as the games over. That being said he is also a family man which could affect his bro-ness but I’ll try and ignore it landfill.  r. [J.D]
15 seed: Jeff Francoeur : His nickname is Frenchie but some call him the Natural. Was a high school bro and play QB in high school. Has a good looking wife. [PF]

3 seed:Joe Mauer : He was a huge football prospect with a full ride to Florida State, and the number one overall draft pick in the MLB draft. He actually is the only person ever to win player of the year by Parade in two sports. He then went on to play baseball in the city he was born in and won the 2009 AL MVP. He has modeled in the past, been on the cover of a video game and has been in a shit load of commercials (The Head and Shoulders one is the most famous of the bunch, he kills it). But what may separate Joe from the rest? It’s gotta be the sideburns cotton. They have had sideburn nights at the Twins games in honor of the burns. [J.D]
22 seed:Justin Morneau : Belongs in the club with Russell Martin as top Canadian Bro. Pretty much an all star in of all places Minnesota. [PF]


28 seed: Jose Altuve : Lil Tuves might be the only player on our list with his own unit of measure. Broadcasters sometimes like to joke of how far home runs travel by saying “how many Altuves” it went, and we think that’s freaking hilarious. The guy’s a 5’5” stud of a baseball player, and he’s only been in the majors for three years. His first big league homer was inside the park; he’s got wheels. The only blemish on his resume is that he plays for the Houston Astros. [LS]

Los Angeles
8 seed: Jered Weaver : Guy’s brother was a bro when he was a pitcher and he’s twice the bro and twice the player. Weaver went to Long Beach State and just dominated the college baseball scene. He was speculated to be the first person chosen in his draft class but demanded so much money teams were scared. Just a total boss move if you ask me. Looks like he is ready to surf at any time and must own like 5 different houses on the beach. He was on the cover of NCAA baseball 2007. Not much has come out about his life as an MLBer, however you have to imagine he’s a very chill, laid back guy. [J.D.]
4 seed: Mike Trout : Last name Trout, but known as Magic Mike or sometimes the Supernatural. Has been known to dress up. Much like the Kung Fu Panda, he has his own fans and crew, except there not panda pack but a pack of trouts. [PF]
Mike Trout doesn’t need much justification for why he’s on our list. He’s only 21 years old and was 2011’s American League rookie of the year. Born and raised in New Jersey, Trout decided to live it up at East Carolina University, a big party school on our list. Basically all you need to know is he’s young, has a bunch of big accomplishments in a short amount of time, and is living every young bro’s dream right now in the MLB. [LS]

10 seed:Josh Reddick : Played baseball at some random school in Georgia which makes me think he did not give 2 shits about his grades. All this guy probably wanted to do is drink and play some baseball. Reddick broke out last year as a big time player for the Oakland A’s, another guy Billy Beane flipped a closer for. Not much is known about this guys personal life but he has the most awesome combo and beard out in the MLB. [J.D.]

16 seed: Michael Morse : Anyone who plays for the Nationals just seems to have some Bro in them. Michael Morse is no exception. For one no one can convince me this man doesn’t take steroids. He got caught early on his career and was suspended ten days for it. He went from a lanky 6’6” shortstop to now a monster, power hitting first basemen. I respect it to be honest because he hasn’t been caught since and the rules have gotten stricter. Know that he is on a team that has no relevance to the MLB all this dude cares about is raking homeruns. He’s doing what any bro would. He’s got flow to back his bro-ness. [J.D.]
27 seed: Justin Smoak : Is a former South Carolina Gamecock, one of the most bro schools out there. Was a boss at South Carolina and has swagger which he has brought to the majors. Packs monster lips, part of the Skoal Brotherhood. [PF]

5 Seed: Yu Darvish : The ultimate Japanese Bro. May seem like a high seed for him but look at the resume. When he came over the greatest country in the world they compared him to rock star status in Japan. He was breaking rules over there smoking on some Japanese stuff that he was not old enough to smoke. He has had a shotgun wedding with some Japanese actress back in 07 and the couple is already divorced. He was selected as GQ man of the year in 2012 for Japan and is in multiple ads over there. Not to mention this year he is completely killing it in the MLB this year. He throws many different pitches that batter get baffled at when thrown. He doesn’t even pitch his best pitch anymore (the screwball) because he hurt his shoulder back in the day throwing it. Just imagine how nasty he would be with that. [J.D.]
24 seed: Derek Holland : Great mustache. He is the funniest MLB player out there right now in my mind. Hilarious youtube videos, the weather man one is my favorite. [PF]


Chris Paul vs. Tony Parker 2013 Statistical Comparison


Chris Paul and Tony Parker undoubtedly in my opinion, were the top two point guards in the league this season, with Russell Westbrook, Stephen Curry, and Kyrie Irving rounding out my top 5.

These statistics are from the 2012-2013 regular season.

Also Tony Parker played 66 games, while CP3 played 70…. so take in account that CP3 had four more games to compile numbers that Tony did not. Statistics only tell part of the story but it is a good indication on who was productive on the court. I researched these stats on my own.



Points per game) Tony: 20.3 CP3: 16.9

Games with 20 points or more) Tony: 39 times CP3: 22 times

Games with 25 points or more) Tony: 16 times CP3: 9 times

Games with 30 points or more) Tony: 10 times CP3: 2 times

Games shooting 50% or higher, min. of 10 attempts) Tony: 38 times CP3: 32 times

Games shooting 55% or higher, min of 10 attempts) Tony: 27 times CP3: 18 times

Games shooting 60% or higher, min of 10 attempts) Tony: 16 times CP3: 10 times

Percentage of team’s points) The Clippers scored a total of 8,289 points. Chris Paul scored a total of 1186 points. That is 14% of the team’s points. The Spurs scored a total of 8,448 points. Tony Parker scored a total of 1341 points. That is 15% of the team’s points.

Not only did Tony Parker score more per game than Chris Paul, he was also more efficient from the field when taking ten shot attempts or more.

Shooting- These stats are from HoopData. At rim means right underneath the rim(ex: putbacks, layups) 3 to 9 feet away from the rim shots (ex: floaters) etc.

At Rim shooting) Tony: 245/356. 68% CP3: 105/151. 69%

From 3 to 9 feet) Tony: 77/154. 50% CP3: 48/87. 55%

From 10 to 15 ft) Tony: 48/104. 46% CP3: 60/120. 50%

From 16 to 23 ft) Tony: 122/277. 44% CP3: 120/240. 50%

Three point shot) Tony: 24/68. 35% CP3: 76/232. 32%

Although Tony has lower percentages than CP3 in “at rim” shooting and “3-9 feet”, CP3 shot in those areas at a lower rate, giving him an advantage. Tony shot and made at a higher rate.

CP3 is the slightly superior shooter from 10 feet and further.


Assists per game) Tony: 7.6 CP3: 9.7

Games with 7 assists or more) Tony: 42 times CP3: 59 times

Games with 10 assists or more) Tony: 17 times CP3: 35 times

Games with 12 assists or more) Tony: 5 times CP3: 20 times

Games with 15 assists or more) Tony: 0 times CP3: 5 times

Games with 2 turnovers or less) Tony: 35 times CP3: 32 times

Games with 4 turnovers or more) Tony: 23 times CP3: 14 times

Assist to turnover ratio) Tony: 2.94 CP3: 4.26

CP3 was the more effective passer during the 2012-2013 regular season. He also did a great job of
keeping his assists high and turnovers low.

The Spurs had a total of 2058 assists. Tony Parker had 499 assists by himself. That’s 24% of team’s assists. The Clippers had a total of 1958 assists. Chris Paul had 678 assists by himself. That’s 34% of the team’s assists.

Rebounding- Although rebounding is not a huge aspect of a point guard’s game, it is a good benchmark for who’s exerting more energy on the court.

Rebounds per game) Tony: 3.0 CP3: 3.7

Games with 3 rebounds or more) Tony: 37 times CP3: 60 times

Games with 5 rebounds or more) Tony: 10 times CP3: 25 times

Games with 7 rebounds or more) Tony: 1 time CP3: 4 times

Clearly, Chris Paul was the better rebounder this season.


Steals per game) Tony: 0.82 CP3: 2.41(led league)

Games with 2 steals or more) Tony: 16 times CP3: 46 times

Games with 5 steals or more) Tony: 0 times CP3: 18 times

CP3 had more games with 5 steals or more than Tony Parker did games with two steals or more.

Free throw-

Free Throw %) Tony: 84% CP3: 88%

Free throws made) Tony: 279 CP3: 286

Games with 5 made free throws or more) Tony: 36 times CP3: 27 times

Games with 7 made free throws or more) Tony: 21 times CP3: 15 times

Games with 10 made free throws or more) Tony: 5 times CP3: 4 times

Although CP3 made seven more free throws, Tony Parker frequently had more games with five, seven, and ten or more free throws.


Double-doubles) Tony: 17 CP3: 31

Triple-doubles) Tony: 1 CP3: 0

PER) Tony: 23.1 CP3: 26.4

Win Shares) Tony: 9.3 CP3: 10.6

Plus/Minus) Tony: +448 CP3: +432 (net points (+/-) for the team while the player was on the floor.)

Usage Rate) Tony: 26.6 CP3: 23.9 (the number of possessions a player uses per 40 minutes.)

Record as starter) Tony: 47-19 (71%) CP3: 50-20(71%)

I don’t have synergy sports or sport-vu, so I didn’t have access to cool stats in the pick-n-roll, post-ups, catch and shoot, etc. I’ll probably purchase that in the future but, I hope you enjoyed my first player comparison. More to come.

Jalen Bishop

Twitter @JaY19NY